“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.” George Orwell


Monday, April 16, 2018

Sin and social skills - (Edited Repost)

TUESDAY, AUGUST 21, 2007


Sin and social skills

So, a person with a intellectual, emotional, or mental disability approaches you. He stands too close to your face. He asks you questions that you think are inappropriate. He touches you too much. He doesn't get your hint that you are feeling uncomfortable. He doesn't understand your language indicating that you want to end the conversation. He will not let the conversation end. Finally you break away. When you get with a friend, you comment, "That guy is weird. He's a mess. He doesn't get it at all, he was like standing too close and touching me and couldn't take a hint."

The question is...who just committed the sin?

He doesn't get it, you do.
He is flailing around in attempting to be loving and friendly. You aren't nor do you want to be loving or friendly.
He will talk about you as his friend. You talk about him as weird and how he doesn't get it.
He will look forward to a chance to talk with you again. You will avoid him in the future.
He will give you all the time he has. You will give time only out of some feeling of guilt.

So who is committing the sin?

It is amazing what we, what I, will do or think about a person just because their social skills are not all they should be. The person is not being evil, the person is not doing wrong, the person just doesn't understand many of what are truly the subtleties of social skills. My response is to reject him and perhaps 90% of my friends and 90% of church members would probably agree with my rejection of him. We as the Church of the Lord Jesus Christ, condone, understand, accept, advocate, discuss, follow through on rejection of people with various disabilities because of their social skills.
May God forgive us.

Yet as I approach the Lord, of course  my social skills are flawless. To the Lord, interacting with me is no doubt "a day at the beach!" How fortunate for him that he is able to be in my presence (being the Lord, and being omnipresent, he kinda doesn't have a choice but to be in my presence). I am confident that the three persons of the trinity do not huddle together and say to each other, "McNair is weird." But you know, in reality God's interactions with me, and my prayers to Him are "a day at the beach" because the Lord loves me. He loves me not because I am "a day at the beach" but because out of his love he has chosen to make interactions with me "a day at the beach." He has chosen to make me feel like I am "a day at the beach! " In spite of all my problems, my sins, my poor social skills, my pride, the crap that is in me and circles me like flies because of the choices I have made, HE LOVES ME! You see that is the example he provides. 
He shows me, ME, as the example of loving someone who is difficult to love, 
and then He loves me.

Do you think he cares about the social skills of the person who bothers you? Please! No, he treats him like he is "a day at the beach" just as much as he does to me.

So do you get it? Social skills deficits are not sin. If I reject another on the basis of social skills, that is sin and I am the sinner. We, I, need to learn about love. True love is not easy. It is messy and inconvenient. It makes you feel uncomfortable. It makes demands on you. I pray that when I am put to the test, when God asks me to show real love to another human being, I will not be worrying about that person's social skills. I hope my concern will be whether I am reflecting the kind of Love that God shows to me. I pray that I will be worried about the sin I am tempted to commit by rejecting another person who God truly loves.

McNair

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

This was a very interesting read. Too often we treat people the same way as the scenario given and we are too quick to judge the person without knowing who they are. We tend to think people are weird when they do something that we would not do. That is something we all must reflect on because sometimes they do not know any better. Sometimes they think that what they do is normal. If they are too close its because they may have liked your personality and the way you are and want to get to know you better. We need to be more open minded and instead be helpful to the people. Talk to them and teach them if they are too close, just let them know and they may understand, but there is no reason to be rude and start talking badly about them.

Jseeds said...

Ty so much I work with none verbal adults & I have for 9 years & all of the sudden I’m struggling with an adult peer who is close to me who I don’t know that well & we definitely have different social skills mine are not perfect in lots of ways yet I find myself being very uncomfortable & at times angry which is really not Godly to complain in my head or out of my mouth I really am thankful for the advice & hope u keep spreading the good news.